Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Wanting to Write, right?

I want to write, but I'm not ready to.

How does that work?

I'm afraid that it might be more tedious high strung-ed-ness from me as a writer - I don't want to start writing until I'm exactly ready. What was that you asked? How long is a piece of string? Yes, I see that you grasp this already. If you happen to read this blog regularly you already know that I have an intricate Method for making myself write whatever is due - it's a layered and complicated process involving baths and chocolate - but lets not dwell on what can't be changed. 
Pretty Much.
This is somewhat different, this pause that I'm experiencing. This is a pause created by some MITIGATING factors.

What I would like right here is that "Dom Dom" noise that happens in Law and Order SVU - you know the one - a sort of staccato full top to whatever action is currently happening and also a dramatic aural cue that things are Serious.

I wrote the first draft of Fury - sorry that I can't offer it to people to read, I don't mean to be in-fury-ating about my mention of manuscripts that I won't publish for general perusal (I only make my short plays available to all - here) but my full length babies are private and I want people to pay me to use them. That's the goal at any rate. Seems distant, but I am ever hopeful on that front.

So I should really be writing the second draft, but I want money - filthy lucre - to do that. So that requires the, oh God no, process of applying for money from the Government. This process is like this:

Tell us everything little theatrical person!
Me: Hello Faceless Government Body please can I have $15000 so that I can write the rest of my play.
FGB: Please outline for us the ways in which the creative impact of your piece will positively enhance the audiences experience.
Me: Um... it will be a good piece of theatre. Well written and pertinent, with excellent performers and a wonderful director.
FGB: And how does that enhance the audiences experience?
Me: By seeing something good?
FGB: It sounds to us like you don't really understand your piece or its place in the theatrical diaspora of Melbourne.
Me: But I do! I do understand. It has a place.
FGB: Why don't you go away and modify your application and add in a list of things that we'd like to see and then we will still not give you the money?
Me: Alrighty then!

So I can't start writing the second draft - I have myself in a bind. But I feel other ideas percolating away and I think that very soon there will be a sort of Bridgette brain coup and the procrastination regarding Fury will be overthrown by the need to write something, anything. And thus will Fury be well and truly pushed to the  side. My play babies are all greedy and they all want my time.

Also Alice is directing Vieux Carre and is completely caught up with that, so I don't have Alice and frankly I'm not doing nuthin' without her.

I might do whatever this kid is doing though.. 
The upshot is, the serious upshot, is that it's hard to try and maintain the focus on one piece of writing, you get redirected all the time. I'll be back with Fury after January and in the meantime I'll be starting something else. A girls gotta write, right?


  1. You could always write thousands of interesting feeling segments in a credit-card-sized notebook as you carry it through your day, then never go back to read what you wrote, even though they are the gem-like hearts of stories that are just waiting there to be told if you'd only tell yourself to look at them once in a while, like I do.

    And anyway, screw the governemnts money.

    1. Precisely!. The only problem is that we can write for no money forever and getting into the Government's hideous but sometimes lucrative process gives me the money to make better plays. It really is very hard being a creative person sometimes. Sometimes I wish I weren't.