Most of the time I can't justify it at all, but occasionally something or someone comes along and validates me in a way that means I can comfortably reassert my self esteem, hold my head medium high and look life squarely in the eye (as long as it it is 167cm's tall).
Firstly let me say that Gabriel gives me a pretty good argument for my own existence, if only because I made him (inside my body, that's right, I made a whole human!) and he's pretty cute. By having him I fulfilled my biological imperative and made my life more meaningful *wipes away tear*. But I'm not talking about that. I am talking about having someone BELIEVE in you. In the shit that you do. And someone does.
Dear friends, I know that you believe in me, that's great, I really appreciate it, however the kind of belief I am discussing here is backed up with cold hard cash. The Malcolm Robertson Foundation have invested in me so that I can write another play. In fact they are helping me to write Fury with their lovely lucre. Also Mary Lou Jelbart at Forty Five Downstairs is also...
...wait a minute, someone is cooking bacon! Where is it.. sniff sniff. Mmmmm bacon. Hang on, I have to wait till that smell goes away and I can concentrate again.
Back again. Phew that was close. Bacon. Mary Lou at 45 is an advocate for my work and a production of Rhonda is in Therapy will go on at 45 in September this year. It's very exciting and is literally the culmination of four years work.
So, money, justification, writing.. where was I? Ah yes, I am going to write Fury. I was very excited to have the money! Yay! And then frightened, sad, hopeful, worried, tired and cautiously optimistic - one after the other. Now I am wildly enthusiastic! Another stage.
I will be developing/writing the work in and around June this year with the help of the lovely and lovely, pragmatic and talented Alice Bishop. She's cool. So, so cool. Anyway. And the following actors: Christina Costigan (brilliant actress and friend), Tiffany Davis (another wonderful actress and delightful friend), Sarah Ogden (overflowing with the talent of her generation), Daniela Farinacci (has totally won awards for film and TV and EVERYTHING and is neato old friend), Ngaire Dawn Fair (The NEXT big thing) and Ben Grant (such a heartbreakingly lovely actor that he is always top of my list). And me. And Alice. It's exciting. So, So, So Exciting.
I am also going to start working with Julian Meyrick on Rhonda ahead of the production this year. We are meeting this month and then we'll see what happens. That's also exciting - nerve wracking and JUSTIFYING.
Every step that I take forward as a writer means that I feel more legitimised and more worried. But what else do you do? Just keep stepping I guess. I've always got Gabe...
In news just to hand we have Skywalker staying with us, he is a tiny bird with am enormous TWEET that he blasts off all morning. He's a friendly little chap though and fluffs his feather adorably.
|...and Gabe loves him.|